Things are not doing good these days. I don't even know where I start with.
In fact, I am angry at everyone at the moment. Every single one around me. Yes, if you think I am that bad, I am. Could even be worse than you can imagine when provoked.
When I stand up and fight for my right, people do not agree because it's affecting the others .. well, one specific person or probably two.
No matter how I kept telling myself "this is not important" , " I still have my own life to move on" , I still felt bugged inside. Is it totally wrong to be someone who just refuse to swallow everything or ignore it? But, do I feel right when I don't?
I got to know what I wasn't supposed to know. They are not real. They are fake. They are just pretending to my face while I have been sincere all along. (Or, at least, I think I have). Just because I speak my mind doesn't mean I'm a 'bad' person. Who is worse? the person who tells you what they don't like or the person who pretends to like what you do but keep all the bad impression in his/ her mind? For me, I think I don't live to please anyone. Seriously. But again, I have this question to myself: do I think people are supposed to please me?
For me to think: Do I realize that when I point my index finger at someone, the rest of my own fingers are pointing at me? It's very important to see one own's mistake before he or she points out the others'.
Why can't people clear their own trash? and tidy their own mess? Why can't people have any sense of guilt when they see other people doing "what is supposed to be their work"? Or at least, offer a hand when it is supposed to be "everyone's responsibility"? Moldy left-overs on dining table? YUCK! What is SO difficult about carrying the plate to the sink?
I hate visitors – the couch-warmers on weekends, especially who left the mess after such
long hours of visiting. It's worse when they are not even your visitors. Living room is always supposed to be a comfy place and that is why it is called "living room". I think I should live in a house where there is an "entertaining room" as well, where visitors are to be entertained.
What's wrong with Singapore government anyway? Why is it so difficult for them to accept someone who is willing to pay the tax, to learn from their community and contribute the same later? I hope they won't send me home. Things are that bad now. Well, although the idea going home isn't bad,
this way is bad. By the way, Happy Birthday Lee Kuan Yew. It was very great to have the news for me on your birthday.
I am so mad at people who failed to appreciate what I have done for them. I do not ask the same thing in return. But do acknowledge. This is what civilized people do , unless you come from stone age. Is it called "jealousy" when I feel uneasy to see people doing favors for others and not for me (especially when I
think I've done favors for them?) Of course, it is called "jealousy". What else could it be? At least, I have the courage to admit it to myself that I'm feeling jealous. Probably not to their face. But still, I realize myself. I criticize myself as much as I criticize others. Just that people wouldn't know much about it.
By the way, since when I have turned into an introvert?
Probably since I no longer feel close enough to anyone. Not even to him.
Sighhhhhhhhhhhh
(
Image Source)
P.S => Bye, FB. Let's see how long I can stay without you. I should ditch you for having eaten half of my working hours or studying hours, You are so addictive yet non-sense.
Comments (2)
@kyalzinlay - Thanks for the mini kyal. And the encouragement too of course.